How I found my peace, purpose, and the feeling that I'm where I'm supposed to be

by michelle on January 7, 2010 · 7 comments

Since the beginning of my blog, I’ve been searching for my “something” else.

And I don’t know when, and I’m not really sure how I came upon it, but one day, sometime in the last year, I felt like I’ve found my purpose, what I live for, my “something” that I spent so many years yearning for.

I wish I could tell everyone what I did, or what was said, or what I thought when I found my peace.  I want to help other people find that calm and solace that happens when you no longer feel like there’s a constant hole in your heart, and pull for something “more”.

I see it in coworkers and friends (and coworkers who are friends), and I tell them that their depression, their longing, their want is normal, it’s pretty much the typical quarter-life crisis, when you see that a freaking quarter of your life gone, poof – just like that, and you still don’t know what the eff you’re doing with it.

What did I do?  I read some philosophy, some ancient, some modern.  I read some literature.  Some old, and some new.  I did a lot of crafting.  And a lot of introspection, and that dug up a lot of shit I didn’t really like about myself.  So, I changed it.  And I looked for the positive.  And while I have a job that doesn’t necessarily provide trust funds for posterity, it provides me with a little joy in my day to day.  Because I like making people smile, and an easy way to do that is to ask them how their day was when they come in for a coffee or latte.

So, perhaps my best advice is not to go on a giant epic search for that thing that makes you happy.  Perhaps it is to find that thing that makes you happy where you are today, right now, and in this space.  With the cards that you were dealt today.  And once you can find that, I think more falls into place.

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Joey January 7, 2010 at 6:46 pm

This is a wonderful post. There is alot we can all learn from this post. We can all find refuge in small things and our faith. Alot of peole wonder what the value in theatre is. Reading this post reminds me that in a way when I do s show I’m showing some one life and mabey from that they can find peace or motivation. Thanks for sharing!

Doniree January 7, 2010 at 8:29 pm

This is my favorite post of yours EVER. Ever.


Mir January 7, 2010 at 10:25 pm

I tell my kiddos every day, “Today is going to be the best day ever.” And we talk about how having a good attitude and putting a smile on your face- even when your day started out rough- can turn your day into a great one. After all…. Life is all about your attitude. I believe this 100%. I think in my life, I’m in a place where I can teach kids that they are in charge of their fate. As 6 and 7 year olds, they have to learn to make the most of each moment, move on when a friend hurts their feelings, do their best when they’re trying something new, etc. And every now and then, one of them will say something that catches me off guard. Something profound and thought-provoking. Like when one of my students last year commented about Martin Luther King day, “It’s not what you look like that matters. It’s what’s in your heart that counts.” In those moments, I know I’m where I’m supposed to be.

Love you! And loved talking to you today. Call me more. I like having someone to talk to. 🙂

Michael January 7, 2010 at 11:53 pm

Wonderful post! Welcome, and I say that in the most polite way. I am glad you have found peace and your real purpose.

The other day I was sharing with a twenty year old that some people decide not to play the money game. Rather they choose to focus on things much more important. He looked at me like I just flew in on the last flight from Venus. Such a myopic view of life we have at twenty.

I used to try to tell people that enjoying life really is not that hard. It took me years to understand what you now know as you obviously learn faster, you can only tell people where you have been, and not how to get there.

It only gets better from here on out!

k8 January 8, 2010 at 9:43 am

I wish I’d understood that when I was your age, but finding it at 33 wasn’t so bad either. Yeah for you! Because this is truly what happiness is about.

E.P. January 10, 2010 at 3:39 pm

I needed to read this today, so THANK YOU. So very much.

I’m working on finding that for myself, and for the first time in my life, I’m content just being here and letting the rest fall into place.

Allie January 11, 2010 at 5:31 pm

I think that’s wonderful advice. I see some of my friends looking for that one thing that’s going to fix everything, and I did that myself. There’s no magic bullet. There’s just an evolution. And, for me, when I was so busy looking for the one big fix, I wasn’t noticing the little things that were slowly helping a little here and a little there.

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